Funny. I was supposed to use this site as some kind of personal > public art journal-type thingy, and it has yet to pan out that way. Perhaps what I need is to actually talk about something personal… perhaps the most personal aspect of myself… my busted left foot. I immediately get tired when trying to explain this very tiring series of unfortunate events, so I’ll see if I can effectively summarize everything into bullet points:
- Started getting mysterious pain in left foot arch around the age of 11 or 12.
- By 14 I was limping slightly, still could run though, cause I was playing soccer and running track (I was fast as shit, too).
- At 16, I discovered a little painful lump deep in my foot. Had surgery to remove it. It was benign. Stitched me up. Pain returned, anyway.
- Fast forward forever & it’s just me going through college limping & trying to act like it wasn’t taking a toll on my creativity & emotional health. Also, at this point, for *~*reasons~*~ I am no longer on my parents’ insurance and am just spaced out in general. Fuckit, I’ve always been spaced out. Still am. E.T.
- End of college, moved to Korea, and lived there for two years. Still limping to and from work in pain like a herb, thinking this is just the story of my life, now. I DID however, find these incredible pairs of Crocs (you can shut right the fuck up) that felt like heaven though. I managed to travel around Asia in those Crocs relatively comfortably. Had the opportunity to see doctors there, but they just seemed way more interested in bleeding my pockets dry with useless, extremely painful tests than actually diagnosing me and helping me get better. Went to some side hustling, sports medicine American dude living in Korea and he semi-presumed I had plantar fasciitis (I kinda figured) and gave me some orthotics. This helped until they didn’t and then I was hurting even more, once again.
- Moved back home to NY two years later and figured that a diet change might help, a lot. Went vegan the absolute WRONG way, eating things with no nutritious value, and ended up tearing what turned out to be my peroneal tendon. Still ain’t had insurance so I just crutched to and from work in a brace boot I bought on ebay, absolutely, horrendous, mind shattering pain for months. (I’m really not gonna try to explain that type of pain. It was disgusting.)
- Since that year, every winter my foot has relapsed, and it seems to catch itself again in the summer. I spent months on end in bed for the following 4 years (up until now) after I moved back from Korea. Thankfully, I had managed to start up a freelancing website-building and graphic design business that I usually don’t have to leave my home for. I rarely was able to leave the house (still can’t really), but I’m at least doing my thing and getting by.
- 2014, Obamacare kicks in and I can freely go to whoever the hell I want without getting blasted for having a pre-existing condition.
I’m planning on deading this injury this year. Not quite coincidentally, I am also planning on traveling… Starting my damn band for fucks sake… Though I know for a fact this thing which has lasted most of my life is going to affect me mentally and emotionally for the REST of my life… I’m kinda cool with that. I enjoy the cynical, creepy, assholish, spaced out weirdo I’ve become because of this shit, so it ain’t no thang. I just want my re-acquaintance to the world. Also planning on getting the applicable foot tattoos necessary to mark the end to this period of my life.
It’s kind of a shame that this injury has eaten up this much time, and that I hadn’t noticed, prior, the effects it was having on my mind, BUT I can’t say that this hasn’t taught me A LOT about myself, those who I call “friend”, and my desires for my life. It also taught me the importance of being very careful about what you put into your body. I venture to say most people with chronic illnesses and injury are at least “conscious” of how their eating habits are directly applicable to their state of health and their specific health problems.
Anyway… So, now it’s out there. Also, this is awesome because now I have a link to direct people to when they ask me why I’m limping… which is fucking annoying.